Once Upon A Time: DISCONTINUED FOR NOW
by Son Nuriko
Summary: Imagine the characters of the cool game Soul Calibur doing Fairy Tale plays thanks to yours truly. See the characters act naturally out of their game characters... And... YUNSUNG'S IN A DRESS? How will they react to this odd little twist? Read to find out
1. Chapter 1

**Once Upon A Time...**

**Disclaimer: Do NOT own Soul Calibur. Nuriko btw is me so I own her!!! **

_**Goldilocks**_

**CAST:**

Father Bear: Kilik

Mother Bear: Xianghua

Baby Bear: Yunsung

Goldilocks: Talim

Narrator: Nuriko (and ALWAYS will be...)

_**(Backstage)**_

NURIKO: Okay people! Places please! First scene!

YUNSUNG: _(comes out in baby bear outfit)_ Is this REALLY necessary?

NURIKO:_ (smirks)_ Why, yes Yunsung!

TALIM:_ (squeals)_ Yunsung-kun!!!! Kawaii!!!

YUNSUNG: I'm NOT supposed to be kawaii! I'm supposed to be the super cool warrior that NURIKO said I'd be!

NURIKO: Hey, it's not my fault I got "Fairy Tales" and "Life of a Warrior" mixed up...

KILIK: Hey, acting's pretty cool anyway! It's sometimes good to get away from all that violence...

XIANGHUA: Kilik-chan's right! . He's ALWAYS right...

NURIKO: ... OKAY! Lights! Camera! Pull up the curtains!

_**(Curtains go up)**_

NURIKO: Once upon a time, there lived 3 bears; Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear.

KILIK: _(comes out in Father Bear costume and roars)_ I am the strong Father Bear!

XIANGHUA:_ (comes out and smiles)_ I am the loving Mama Bear! AND I'M MARRIED TO _KILIK-CHAN_!!!! OMG!!!!

EVERYONE: --;;;;;;;

YUNSUNG:_ (comes out and glares at everyone)_

_**(Silence...)**_

NURIKO: _(from behind the curtain)_ Say your line!

YUNSUNG: I'm the adorable baby bear... Wheeeeee... _(without any enthusiasm)_

NURIKO: Well one day, Mama Bear made some porridge for Papa Bear and Baby...

KILIK: P-Porridge??? I'm allergic to it!!! I can't eat it!

XIANGHUA: Oh don't worry, Kilik-chan! I made it porridge free! It may look like porridge but it's not...

NURIKO: Yeah yeah ok... Whatever... Well anyway, the porridge was too hot to eat so the three bears decided to take a walk out into the woods while it cools.

YUNSUNG: Yay yay... Whoopee...

XIANGHUA: Baby Bear, be more enthusiastic please...

YUNSUNG: _(ignores Xianghua)_

NURIKO: Well, while they were out, young Goldilocks happened to walk past the three bears' house and decided...

TALIM: Hmm, no one's home... And I'm dreadfully hungry... To top it off, I smell porridge! Maybe they wouldn't mind me going in and having some to eat...

NURIKO: So in she went, that naughty little Goldilocks and tried the first bowl of porridge which belonged to Papa Bear.

TALIM: Eww!!! This porridge is too hot! Better try the second one!

NURIKO: So she tried Mama Bear's porridge although it did not go to her liking...

TALIM: Eww!!! This porridge is too sweet!

XIANGHUA:_ (backstage)_ You have no taste in porridge! It's supposed to be sweet, stupid!

NURIKO: Hoping that the third time would be lucky, Goldilocks tried Baby Bear's tiny little bowl.

TALIM: Let me try the third bowl which is used by Yunsung-kun!!! _(tastes some)_ Mmm!!! Delicious! Good taste as ever Yunsung-kun!!!  
NURIKO: ... Anyway Goldilocks decided to wander around the house and found three chairs. First, she sat on Papa Bear's chair which was...

TALIM: _(sits on Baby Bear's chair which broke)_ Ooops!

NURIKO: Talim!!! PAPA Bear!!! Not Baby Bear!!!

TALIM: Gomen! _(sits on Papa Bear's chair)_ Oof! This chair is too hard! I'll try the second one!

YUNSUNG: Wow she IS suited for Goldilocks... She's BLONDE!!!!

NURIKO: _(after banging head countlessly on the wall) _Oook... After that attempt, she decided to try the second chair.

TALIM: _(sits down on Mama Bear's chair and sinks in)_ Oh my! This chair is way too soft for me!

NURIKO: Uh... She was supposed to sit on Baby Bear's chair but...

TALIM: But I was too excited to sit on Yunsung-kun's chair that I broke it too soon! Gomenasai minna-san!

NURIKO: ... WELL, after a long day of interesting things, Goldilocks decided to get some rest and so she marched up the stairs.

TALIM:_ (opens room door and gasps)_ Three beds all in one room! How did they manage to fit it in??? And WHY do they share the same room?

NURIKO: Goldilocks tried the first bed but it was to her dislike.

TALIM: Again this bed is too hard!

KILIK: Just cuz I like to sleep on a rock...

TALIM: _(tries Mama Bear's bed) _Oh too soft! _(tries Baby Bear's bed) _Just right! AND it's Yunsung-kun's bed!!! .

NURIKO: _(ignoring audiences' laughing and the stupidity of what Talim said...)_ So Goldilocks fell asleep in Baby Bear's tiny baby cot, forgetting about the fact that she was at a stranger's home. Meanwhile, the three bears had come home to find their front door opened.

KILIK,XIANGHUA,YUNSUNG: _(playing poker)_

NURIKO: AHEM!!! The THREE BEARS had COME HOME to find their FRONT DOOR OPENED!!!!

KILIK,XIANGHUA,YUNSUNG: Oh! _(run onto stage)_

KILIK: Someone's been eating my not real porridge!

XIANGHUA: Someone's been eating MY porridge! _(adds under breath) _and finds it too sweet, stupid non-sweet-appreciator!

YUNSUNG: And someone's been eating my porridge and look it's ALL gone... Cry sniffle sniffle... I mean..._ (cries and sniffs)_

NURIKO:_ (sighs)_ They then went into the living room to find that...

KILIK: ... Did Goldilocks sit in my chair? Oh I mean, someone's been sitting in my chair!

XIANGHUA: Someone's been sitting in MY chair! And you can see the imprint still!

YUNSUNG: Someone's been sitting in my chair and look! It's broken into pieces! _(cries)_

NURIKO: Now angered, the three bears marched upstairs, to check if their belongings had been stolen but instead...

KILIK: Again? Someone's been sleeping in my bed!

XIANGHUA: Someone's been sleeping in MY bed! AND the imprint's there too!

YUNSUNG: Someone's been sleeping in my bed and look! She's STILL HERE!!!

NURIKO: At that time, Goldilocks opened her eyes to find all three bears staring down at her.

TALIM: AHHHHH!!!! BEARS!!!!! _(runs off stage)_

NURIKO: And from that day onwards, the three bears never saw Goldilocks again. The End...

_**(Backstage)**_

NURIKO: Great work you guys! Wanna do another one sometime soon? Apparently it's good!

KILIK,TALIM,XIANGHUA: Sure! No problem!

YUNSUNG: Tch no! I'm not that free to do those stuff you know?!

NURIKO: Well too bad cuz next time you're still in it!

YUNSUNG: I refuse to do it!

NURIKO: _(gives Yunsung death glare)_ If you refuse, I will just tell the people of Namco to erase your existence!

YUNSUNG: ... Sign me up!

**(Yay I'm done! What'd you think? Yeah I know the characters are out of character but oh well... That's the whole point of this! Please R&R and I'll post up one more and if you like it, please tell me in your review! Thanks!!!!)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Once Upon A Time...**

**Disclaimer: Do NOT own Soul Calibur. Nuriko btw is me so I own her!!! **

_**Little Red Riding Hood**_

_**Note: Because I wanna make it a bit more random, I made Red Riding Hood have a Grandpa instead of a Grandma and guess who the lucky fella is... Lol**_

**CAST:**

Red Riding Hood: Cassandra

Wolf: Yunsung

Grandpa: Heihachi

Hunter: Maxi

Narrator: Nuriko

_**(Backstage)**_

NURIKO: Okay people we're starting in ten minutes!

HEIHACHI: Hey I just read the real story of Red Riding Hood and it says here that the young girl has a GrandMOTHER... I'm a man!

NURIKO: Yeah well there aren't any old ladies to play the part on Soul Calibur...

HEIHACHI: I see one right now... _(eyeballs Ivy)_

IVY: What did you say you old man?!?!?!_ (brings out Valentine Blade) (or was it Ivy Blade? Soz can't remember!)_

HEIHACHI: Nothing!!!! _(runs off)_

YUNSUNG: _(smirks)_ Why's Ivy getting mad? She IS old!

NURIKO: _(sighs) _Ok people get ready! Ivy leave him alone! You can get him back later! Where's my Red Riding Hood?

_**(Curtains go up)**_

CASSANDRA: I uh forgot to mention something Nuriko...

NURIKO: Whatever it is I'm sure it can wait cuz you're up now! _(pushes Cassandra out)_

CASSANDRA: _(freezes)_

NURIKO: _(THOUGHTS: OMG!!! STAGE FRIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Damn gotta do something!) (uses Psychic powers to call Sophitia)_ Once upon a time, there lived a young girl named Little Red Riding Hood.

CASSANDRA: ... Uh... Uh... _(sees Sophitia from corner of eye whispering her lines)_ Oh yes I am off to see my Granny...dad I mean! Yes with my basket of goodies! _(hops off)_

NURIKO: Whilst in the woods, Red Riding Hood meets up with the conniving wolf who lives there, wandering around in search of food...

YUNSUNG: _(comes out in wolf outfit) _I see a little girl with a basket of goodies! Maybe I should steal it off her. After all I'm the master at stealing stuff, considering the fact that I stole Seung Mina's dad's White Storm...

NURIKO: Stick to the story!

YUNSUNG: Can't I even brag about how I did great???  
NURIKO: No!

YUNSUNG: _(glares at her)_

_**(Audience)**_

SEUNG MINA: Man I am sooooo gonna get him back...

KILIK: Wow you're pissed aren't you?

SEUNG MINA: _(with dark aura around her) _Whatever gave you that idea Kilik?

KILIK: Ahahahaha... Hm...

XIANGHUA: Leave Kilik-chan alone! It's not his fault that he's a bit dim!

KILIK: Uh you do know that I'm here right?

XIANGHUA: Shut up Kilik! I'm defending you!

KILIK: By mocking me???

XIANGHUA: It's not mocking, it's the truth! You ARE a bit dim...

KILIK: Well in that case; you're a bit fat! Wait, not a bit... You're VERY fat!

XIANGHUA: _(gasps) _How dare you...

SEUNG MINA: ...???? _(ignores the arguing couple)_

_**(Meanwhile...)**_

YUNSUNG: Hey lil girl! What's your name? Can I have those goodies?

CASSANDRA: Hi! Cassandra... I mean Red Riding Hood and no you can't have these goodies! They're for my grandad...

YUNSUNG: How's about you give em to me and I'll give em to your grandad?

CASSANDRA: Hm... Ok! _(Hands basket over)_

NURIKO: _(Whispers but it's so loud everyone can hear) _No you dim wit!!! You don't give it to him!!! Don't you read the script that I took forever to write?!?!?!?!

CASSANDRA: Oh right! _(takes basket away) _I...I'm sorry but I can't give it to you... _(walks off)_

YUNSUNG: Dammit... I'm starving and she looks good to eat! I know! I'll go to her grandad's place! _(runs off)_

_**(At Grandad's place)**_

NURIKO: Go on!!!

HEIHACHI: I REFUSE to go on looking like this!

NURIKO: Well too bad! You agreed to it so go on!

HEIHACHI: Only because you said you'd pay me!

NURIKO: I will! After the show! Now GO ON!!! _(pushes him out)_

HEIHACHI: _(comes out and dressed in an old-fashioned nightgown)_

AUDIENCE: _(stares for a moment before cracking up)_

HEIHACHI: ... Shut up!

NURIKO: But anyway, Grandad was just about to take a nap when he hears a knock on the door.

YUNSUNG: _(bangs on door)_

HEIHACHI: Who's there???

YUNSUNG: _(in his normal voice) _It's me... Little Red Riding Hood...

HEIHACHI???? You're not my grandchild! You sound like an old man!

YUNSUNG: _(THOUGHTS: Takes one to know one... Stupid fool) _I uh... _(voice goes squeaky) _Puberty!

CASSANDRA: _(from backstage) _Do I really sound like that?

HEIHACHI: I still doubt that you're my grandchild...

YUNSUNG: Then I'll huff, and I'll puff and I'll...

NURIKO: Wrong story!!!

YUNSUNG: I mean... _(opens door and pounces on Heihachi)_

_**(Curtains go down for a few minutes, shuffling can be heard and curtains rise again... Yunsung is now in the wolf costume AND the nightgown) **_

AUDIENCE: _(cracks up even more)_

YUNSUNG: Shut up!

NURIKO: Well, with Heiha... I mean Red Riding Hood's Grandad outcold in the cupboard, poor Red Riding Hood is unaware of the danger that lurks in her own Grandad's house.

CASSANDRA: _(goes up to house and knocks on door)_

YUNSUNG: _(hides snout under covers) _Who is it?

CASSANDRA: It's me, Grandad! Can I come in.

YUNSUNG: Why of course!

CASSANDRA: _(comes in and stares at her supposedly Grandad)_

YUNSUNG: What?

CASSANDRA: My my Grandad what big ears you have!

YUNSUNG: All the better to hear you with my dear!

CASSANDRA: Wow Grandad what big eyes you have!

HEIHACHI: Are you saying I have tiny eyes?!?!?!  
EVERYONE: ...  
YUNSUNG: Uh... All the better to see you with... Ahahahaha _(snout comes out from under covers)_

CASSANDRA: Grandad! What big teeth you have!

YUNSUNG: All the better to eat you with! _(stands up and roars)_

CASSANDRA, CHILDREN IN THE AUDIENCE AND KILIK: _(scream)_

CASSANDRA: _(runs out of the house with Yunsung right behind her) _Help help!!!

MAXI: _(turns around and sees Cassandra running past him) _??? _(sees Yunsung) _Holy shit! _("kills" Yunsung with his nunchaku)_

CASSANDRA: Oh you saved me!

MAXI: No need to thank me...

NURIKO: Thanks to the hunter, the wolf is dead and Red Riding Hood and her Grandad are save and they lived happily ever after. The End.

_**(Backstage)**_

NURIKO: Great work you guys!

MAXI: Was that all I had to do?!?!?!?!

NURIKO: Uh yup... That's also why I let you use your Nunchaku instead of a gun, which you were supposed to do...

TALIM: Yunsung-kun! _(runs over to him)_

YUNSUNG: That's it! I'm done!

NURIKO: Sure you are...

YUNSUNG: --;;;;;; It's not the end is it?

NURIKO: _(shrugs)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Once Upon A Time...**

**Disclaimer: Do NOT own Soul Calibur. Nuriko btw is me so I own her!!! **

_**Hansel And Gretel**_

**CAST:**

Hansel: Kilik

Gretel: Talim

Woodcutter: Mitsurugi

Woodcutter's wife: Sophitia

Witch: Ivy

Narrator: Nuriko

_**(Backstage)**_

KILIK: Hey Talim you look quite... cute in that... _(blushes slightly)_

TALIM??? Thanks! _(turns to Yunsung who is pouting) _Yunsung-kun what'd you think?

YUNSUNG: Hmph whatever... How come I don't get a part in this???

NURIKO: Because you said before you didn't wanna act anymore. Isn't this a good thing then?

YUNSUNG: Yeah but then no one will be able to see me!

NURIKO: Uh that's the whole point...

XIANGHUA: Kilik-chan! How come you don't say _I_ look good in outfits???  
KILIK: ... Ah Maxi lemme help you with that bag of VERY HEAVY plastic cups!!! _(runs off)_

XIANGHUA: Moh! Kilik-chan!

NURIKO: Ok people places please! We're starting now!

_**(Curtains go up)**_

NURIKO: Once upon a time, there lived a very poor family. The father was a woodcutter and although they lived very close to the woods, he didn't make much money and God only knows why...

SOPHITIA: _(starts to clean "house")_

KILIK AND TALIM: _(comes in) _Mama what's for dinner?

SOPHITIA: Nothing again my dears. I am so sorry. When father comes back we might have something to eat.

KILIK AND TALIM: _(look down sadly)_

XIANGHUA: Oh my poor Kilik-chan!

MITSURUGI: I'm home!

KILIK AND TALIM: Daddy!!!

MITSURUGI: Hello children how're you today?

_**(Audience)**_

YUNSUNG: _(pouting because he didn't get to be in this show)_

SEUNG MINA: Hmm? Yunsung, why're you pouting?

YUNSUNG: I'm not pouting! Men don't pout!

SEUNG MINA: Yeah but you're not a man... You're a kid who's pouting.

YUNSUNG: ... Shut up! You've never even STARRED in this stupid play!

SEUNG MINA: And it's a good thing too... I mean I don't wanna be embarassed like you were... Besides, if it is such a stupid play, why're you pouting because you're not in it?

YUNSUNG: Shut up!

_**(Back to the show...)**_

NURIKO: As the two children slept, the woodcutter and his wife sat by their fire and talked.

MITSURUGI: Do you think I look fat in these pants dear? I mean, look at my ass... It's practically sticking out...

SOPHITIA: _(looks at him weirdly) _Uh dear... That's not what is important right now...

MITSURUGI: What'd you mean it's not important?! So you wouldn't mind if some woman comes up to me and starts flirting with me?

SOPHITIA: _(attempts to whisper)_ We're not married...

A RANDOM CHILD IN THE AUDIENCE: Mummy if they're not married, how come they have two children? Are they adopted? Am _I _adopted?!?!?!?! Omg I'm adopted?!?!?!?! Mummy what's adopted?

CHILD'S MUMMY: ... It's uh... It's when two parents love their children who are NOT adopted!

CHILD: Huh?

MUMMY: Just watch the show...

NURIKO: The couple were talking about the CHILDREN'S well-being and NOT their PANTS...

MITSURUGI: What? Don't you care that my pants are too tight?

EVERYONE: NO!!!

MITSURUGI: Fine! _(sits down and talks in a bored voice) _So what shall we do with our children? They are not really good off with us...

SOPHITIA: Maybe we should leave them in the forest, for you of all people should know that richmen go past there everyday and maybe they will be able to take care of them.

MITSURUGI: But what if there aren't any and the children end up being eaten by wolves?

SOPHITIA: Better being eaten up straight away than starve to death.

MITSURUGI: Boy you're good!

SOPHITIA: Thank you!

NURIKO: Ahem! So the next day, the woodcutter took his two children into the forest, saying that he wanted to spend a day with them but the children knew otherwise for they had eavesdropped on their parents the night before.

KILIK: _(drops bread crumbs down on the ground to make a trail)_

TALIM??????? Why not use pebbles?

KILIK: Cuz I'm older and I thought of this first! And crumbs are better!

TALIM: Ok ok! Geez...

NURIKO: ... ANYWAY, it was soon nightfall and the trio were surrounded by nothing but trees...

TALIM: _(snuggles up to Mitsurugi) _I'm scared...

MITSURUGI: _(gets up)_ You two stay together and I will go look for firewood to build a fire.

KILIK: Oh _now _you go... Great dad...

NURIKO: AHEM!

KILIK: I mean; Alright father... We will be here waiting for you...

NURIKO: As the woodcutter left, both Kilik and Talim... I mean Hansel and Gretel cuddled together for warmth, knowing that their father would never come back...

_**(Audience)**_

XIANGHUA: How dare Talim snuggle up to my Kilik-chan?!?!?!?!

YUNSUNG: Forget that! Nuriko FINALLY made a mistake! AHA!!!

AUDIENCE: Shh!!!

_**(Back to the show...)**_

NURIKO: The next day...

KILIK: Now see my lil sis! For the trail that will lead us home is...not there...

TALIM: I told you we should've used pebbles! At least they won't get eaten by animals in the night! Now we're lost!

KILIK: Uh... Don't worry! I know where to go! Uh... THAT way!

TALIM: _(THOUGHTS: If we WERE lost, I'd kill you off for sure...)_

NURIKO: _(stops herself from snapping at people) _So the two children followed the path that Hansel supposedly said to be the path back but they soon realized that it was the wrong was for they came to...

KILIK: Omg look! A house made outta sweets!

TALIM: _(rubs eyes to double-check) _It IS! You're FIALLY right! Maybe we shouldn't go though... What do you think brother? Brother?

KILIK: _(runs to the house like it's the only thing in sight) _FOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!

NURIKO: _(THOUGHTS: I did say excitedly but not that much...)_

TALIM: Are you... _(stomach growls) (THOUGHTS: Man, when Nuriko said I shouldn't eat cuz I'm gonna hurl today... She lied... She wants to embarass me!!!) _Alright... _(goes over to the house and starts eating)_

IVY: _(comes out of the house dressed in her usual slutty oufit, making the men stare) _Hello children... Like my house?

NURIKO: _(THOUGHTS: ARGH!!! What's up with these people?!?!?!?! She's not supposed to wear THAT!!!!!)_

KILIK AND TALIM: _(after turning their eyes away from the outift) _Yes we do...

IVY: Maybe you'd want to eat something that is NOT used to make my house... Come on in...

NURIKO: Gretel wasn't sure about trusting this...scary woman but her brother, oblivious to the bad aura, accepted the woman's offer. The two children entered and had the best time of their lives, well, for Hansel anyway...

KILIK: _(all fat and chained to the wall but doesn't care because he keeps eating)_

TALIM: _(sweeping the floor and working basically)_

IVY: _(laughs maniacally) _Gretel! Stoke the fire! We'll be having delicious meat today! _(leaves)_

TALIM: Y-yes ma'am... _(slowly walks to the oven and stokes fire) _Psst! Hansel!

KILIK: _(stuffing his face with cakes) _What?

TALIM: We have to get you out of here! The witch is going to eat you!

KILIK: Nonsense! She loves us!

TALIM: Yeah, she loves us nice and fat so she can roast us and eat us! Why'd you think you're only being stuffed with sweets and cakes and not healthy stuff?

KILIK: ... SHIT GET ME OUTTA HERE!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!

TALIM: Shh!!! I've got a plan! Oh no! The fire's gone out!

IVY: _(comes out) _Well then start it up again!

TALIM: I don't know how...

IVY: Stupid insolent child! Here, I'll show you! _(bends over and all the men stare at her ass)_

TALIM: _(pushed her into the fire and shuts door) _She's dead! _(frees Kilik)_

KILIK: Let's go!

TALIM: But father and mother don't want us anymore... What's the point in going back? We'll just make their lives worse...

KILIK: ... Not with these! _(takes the candies) _With this much food, we'll be able to last a lifetime!

TALIM: That's the smartest thing you've said this whole time!

KILIK: Thanks and...hey!

TALIM: Let's go!

NURIKO: So the two children, with their endless supply of food, found their way back to their parents and they lived happily ever after. The End.

_**(Backstage)**_

NURIKO: Great work you guys!

XIANGHUA: Where's Kilik-chan?

KILIK: _(working out) _Gotta-get-into-shape-again-or-else-won't-be-liked...

NURIKO: Mentioned something about getting in shape... But anyway, see you guys next time for Cinderella!

IVY: Are you STILL going to do it eventhough we embarassed you?

NURIKO: Yeah, cuz it's fun and I love it! So... Cya next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**Once Upon A Time...**

**Disclaimer: Do NOT own Soul Calibur. Nuriko btw is me so I own her!!! **

_**CINDERELLA**_

_**NOTE: This version of Cinderella is acted out by guys... So if you're not into Yunsung and Kilik "falling in love" and stuff, gomenasai but I thought it'd be funny! Lol not actually yaoi or anything...**_

**CAST:**

Cinderella: Yunsung

Prince: Kilik

Step Sis 1: Maxi

Step sis 2: Mitsurugi

Step mum: Raphael

Fairy Godmother: Voldo

King: Heihachi

_**(Backstage)**_

NURIKO: Ok guys! Guys? Where're you? _(sighs) _Come on out already!

ALL THE CAST MEMBERS: _(come out reluctantly in dresses, except for Kilik and Heihachi who smirks at the rest)_

YUNSUNG: Why the hell are we in dresses?!?!?!?!

KILIK: _I'm _not! .

YUNSUNG: _(brings out White Storm) _Shut up prissy boy!

KILIK: What-

XIANGHUA: What you call him?!?!?!?!

KILIK: --;;;; Uh... Xianghua...

MAXI: I'm NOT going out there in this! What if my fans start hating me???

NURIKO: As if they'll hate you Maxi! They'll _love _you cuz you're in a pretty dress! It shows that you have respect for them and that means they'll like you even more!

MAXI: R-Really?

NURIKO: Ya! Would I _EVER_ lie to you? _(looks at Maxi with big chibi innocent eyes)_

MAXI: Well...

NURIKO: That's great! Ok people! We're starting!

_**(Curtains go up)**_

NURIKO: Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Cinderella.

YUNSUNG: I'm not coming out!!!!

NURIKO: Come out _Cinderella_!

YUNSUNG: _(gets pushed out by Xianghua) _I hate my life...

XIANGHUA: _(THOUGHTS: Hmph! Serves him right for dissing Kilik-chan!)_

AUDIENCE: _(starts laughing at Yunsung)_

YUNSUNG: _(turns to Nuriko) _You're gonna pay... I'll play along but when I'm done... Oooooh you're so gonna pay... _(starts sweeping floor)_

NURIKO: Unfortunately, Cinderella lived with her stepmother and her two stepsisters and all three were wretches to her.

MITSURUGI AND RAPHAEL: _(come out reluctantly)_

MAXI: _(comes out smiling) (THOUGHTS: Those girls're gonna love me now!)_

_**(Audience)**_

GIRL 1: Omg Maxi's cross-dressing!

GIRL 2: What's he thinking?!!?!?! Is he _mocking _us girls?!?!?!?!

TALIM: Yunsung-kun! That is sooooooooo kawaiiiiiii!!!

XIANGHUA: You're kidding me right?

TALIM: _(shakes head) _He's sooooooo cute!!!!

XIANGHUA: ...

MAXI: _(tries to sound like a girl, but voice ends up high and croaky)_ Cinderella! Have you done my laundry?

YUNSUNG: Yes stepmother... I mean step_sister_...

MITSURUGI: Cinderella! Have you made my bed?

YUNSUNG: Yes stepsister...

MAXI: Cinderella! Have you done my part of the chores?

YUNSUNG: Yes stepsister...

MITSURUGI: Cinderella! Do I look fat in this dress? I mean look at it... My ass is practically sticking out...

YUNSUNG?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! _(turns to Nuriko and whispers) _Is this part of the script that I didn't know about?

NURIKO: _(shakes head and glares at Mitsurugi) _

MITSURUGI: Ahahahaha...

RAPHAEL: _(hits Mitsurugi over head with fan) _Cinderella, go into in your room and stay there. The duke of France is coming and we don't want him to see you all dirty, especially around _me_... _(smiles at ladies)_

GIRLS: _(sighs) _Raphael's hot! Even if he _IS _wearing girls' clothing!

YUNSUNG: ... Yes stepmother... _(walks off) (THOUGHTS: Hey at least my lines're easy!)_

NURIKO: Cinderella was always treated so horrible but she never scolded back.

YUNSUNG: Well she's stupid...

NURIKO: One day, the King of the land decided that he wanted his first and only son to find a bride and settle down but since the prince has not actually been looking for a bride, he thought he might help a little...

HEIHACHI: Mwahahahahaha!!! I am the ruler of you all!!! Bow before me!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I AM KING OF THE WORLD!!!!!

KILIK: --;;;; Uh Heihachi... You're not technically a king... This is just acting...

HEIHACHI: Damn it all! And here I thought I'd be the strongest!

NURIKO: Ahem!!!!

HEIHACHI: Oh... Son! It is time for you to settle down and because you haven't yet found a bride, I have decided to have a ball!

KILIK: A ball?

HEIHACHI: Yes a ball! Here you go! _(passes him a basketball)_

EVERYONE: ...

HEIHACHI: AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Just pulling your leg son! _(nervously ignores Nuriko's death glares and evil aura) _This ball will be the one where you find your wife for we shall invite all the lass in this town and neighbouring towns too!

KILIK: But I don't want to find a wife Father...

HEIHACHI: You will find a wife and you shall be happy for you shall be happy with the wife that you will find!

KILIK: ... Oww my head! Fine fine whatever... _(leaves)_

HEIHACHI: _(basically talking to no one) _Send word to the land about the ball that shall be held tonight!

NURIKO: So ivitations were sent to every house in the land and to the neighbouring land. Of course, Cinderella's house was included.

RAPHAEL: ... and whomsoever the prince falls in love with shall be his queen!

MITSURUGI AND MAXI: Omg omg omg!!!! He's gonna marry whoever he falls for!

MITSURUGI: It's sooooo gonna be me!

MAXI: No it's me! I'm the oldest, prettiest _and _smartest!

RAPHAEL: Now now girls... Both of you are worthy of the prince's love... But alas, he will only pick one fair maiden... And it had better be one of you... So come! Let's go get you two ready!

MITSURUGI & MAXI: Yay!

YUNSUNG: M-May I come too stepmother? I'd like to go to the ball too... _(THOUGHTS: OMG!!! THIS IS STUPID!!!)_

RAPHAEL, MITSURUGI & MAXI: _(stare for a moment before cracking up)_

YUNSUNG: What? _(THOUGHTS: Stupid fools!)_

RAPHAEL: Oh my dear child. You are much too busy to attend with us.

YUNSUNG: But I've finished all my chores...

MITSURUGI: No! You haven't cleaned this up! _(messes up floor)_

MAXI: And you haven't cleaned this up! _(throws dirt from fireplace all over the kitchen)_

RAPHAEL: Oh well dear. Guess you have to clean it up... And I doubt you have time to get something together for the ball... Which is in half an hour... Goodbye...

YUNSUNG: _(kneels down sadly) _What am I to do... I will never have a chance to be free now...

AUDIENCE: _(sniffs and cries)_

NURIKO: Just then, a bright light appeared and a woman...man..._thing_ appeared in front of Cinderella!

YUNSUNG: Who're..._What're _you???

VOLDO: Hsi hsi hsiiiiiiiiiiiiii _(TRANSLATION: I'm your fairy godmother. I am here to help you get to the ball!)_

YUNSUNG: ... Huh? _(reads subtitle) _Oh... How're you gonna help me?

VOLDO: Hsi hsi hsi hsiiiiiiiii hsi hsi hsiiiiiiii hsiiiiiiiii hsii hsiiiii hsiii... _(TRANSLATION: Simple...) (waves wand over Yunsung and pumpkin and mice)_

_**(Curtains go down for a few minutes. Rises later with Yunsung in a pretty white dress and wearing glass slippers and attempting not to fall over)**_

YUNSUNG: _(THOUGHTS: $!?#&) _Oh thank you fairy godmother... _(un-enthusiastically)_

VOLDO: Hsi... Hsi... _(TRANSLATION: But there is a catch; everything you own now will be gone on the last bell at midnight... So if I were you, I'd get out of there as soon as possible)_

YUNSUNG: Understood... _(gets into carriage)_

_**(Curtains go down again. Rises and the set is now in the palace)**_

KILIK: _(bowing to girls and smiling) _

HEIHACHI: Mwahahaahahaha!!!! So how're you doing my son?

KILIK: This is stupid... I have not found the right woman yet...

XIANGHUA: Because your right woman is here!!!

KILIK FAN 1: No HERE!!!

KILIK FAN 2: No HERE!!!!!

XIANGHUA: _(death glares the girls)_

KILIK FANS 1 & 2: Yeah THERE!!! _(points at Xianghua)_

KILIK: ...

HEIHACHI: Well keep looking for the night is still young and as the night is still young you should keep looking! Mwahahaahaha!!! _(leaves)_

KILIK: ... _(THOUGHTS: Freak...) _

MITSURUGI & MAXI: _(runs over to Kilik and starts "flirting") (THOUGHTS: Omg this is soooo embarassing!!!)_

KILIK: Uh... Ladies _(coughs) _ladies please... _(looks up and sees Yunsung) _Wow... _(walks over to Yunsung)_

YUNSUNG: _(attempts to blush but ends up looking bored)_

KILIK: May I have this dance?

YUNSUNG: What???? No!!! _(sees Nuriko dialing Namco phone number) _I mean... Yes...

NURIKO: So the two danced the whole night and Cinderella almost forgot about the time until the hour bell went off.

YUNSUNG: Oh no I should go now... _(turns to leave)_

KILIK: Wait! What is your name?

YUNSUNG: ... Look a dancing pineapple!

KILIK: What where?????????

YUNSUNG: _(runs off but trips and drops one side of his glass slipper)_

KILIK: What??? Noooooo!!!! _(trips over glass slipper) _Oh a glass slipper! It must've been from him... I mean her... _(picks up the glass slipper and starts talking to practically no one)_ Send word to the land that whomsoever fits this glass slipper shall be my new bride!

NURIKO: The next day, the Prince himself went down to the town to personally witness the fitting of the glass slipper but none fitted, until he reached the home of Cinderella and her stepfamily.

KILIK: Please try the slipper on...

MAXI: Me first!!! _(pushes Raphael out of the way)_ I'll show you! I'm the girl you danced with! _(tries to cramp feet into slippers)_

KILIK: Noooooo _(takes it off him) _Sorry but please don't break the slipper... I only have one...

MITSURUGI: Let ME try it... _(tries it on but doesn't fit)_

KILIK: Hm... guess she's not here then... Unless there's someone else here...

RAPHAEL, MITSURUGI & MAXI: No one!

YUNSUNG: _(drops pots) _Oh shit!

KILIK????? _(goes into kitchen) _You! Try this on please)

YUNSUNG: No... I can't...

RAPHAEL: That's right she can't! She's been here the whole time last night!

KILIK: Just try it on please...

YUNSUNG: _(fits perfectly)_

KILIK: It IS you!

RAPHAEL: It's YOU?!?!?!

YUNSUNG: Yes...

KILIK: Will you be my bride? _(THOUGHTS: Ew... I'm gonna be scarred for life...)_

YUNSUNG: Eww no... I mean... yes!

NURIKO: So Cinderella and the prince lived happily ever after. And her stepfamily? Well they lived normally but suffer a lot without Cinderella... The end.

_**(Backstage)**_

NURIKO: Woo hoo! Great work you guys!

YUNSUNG: Hey Nuriko!

NURIKO: Yeah?

YUNSUNG: _(turns on pipe and a strong gush of water hits Nuriko, making her fly into a couch)_ AHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

NURIKO: _(sits up) _Oooooh you're soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo dead! _(walks off)_

KILIK: Oh damn you're dead...

YUNSUNG: Yeah? What can she do?

**Done! Oh btw should I write one where it's all the girls instead? Please review and tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Once Upon A Time...**

**Disclaimer: Do NOT own Soul Calibur. Nuriko btw is me so I own her!!! My ideas of torturing them (mainly Yunsung) and randomness are original too! Hehe so much for disclaiming neh?**

**JACK AND THE BEANSTALK**

**CAST:**

Jack: Maxi

Jack's Mum: Ivy

Old Man: Heihachi

Giant: Nightmare

Magic Harp: Xianghua

Cow (Head): Kilik

Cow (ass): Yunsung

**(Backstage)**

NURIKO: Hai! Minnasan! Ganbatte kudasai!

CAST???????

NURIKO: What? I said, "Ok people good luck!" Geez you people are created by Japanese and yet you don't understand Japanese??? Shame on you!

MAXI: We got what you said! We were just wondering WHY you were speaking in Japanese…

YUNSUNG: Stupid Japanese…

KILIK: Why're you against Japanese?

YUNSUNG: Because I'm a Korean and us Koreans can't stand Japanese!

MAXI: Hey I'm Japanese! And so's Heihachi!

HEIHACHI: How dare you insult _MY _country?! You shall pay! _(Soul charges)_

YUNSUNG: _(soul charges) _Bring it on old man!

NURIKO: _(on the phone) _Hello Namco? That's right it's Nuriko! I'm calling to tell you that Yunsung AND Heihachi should be removed from the game because they don't listen to me! What? You'll do it? Oh but if they do what I say then they won't be removed? Cool thanks! _(hangs up)_ So… Did you guys hear that?

YUNSUNG & HEIHACHI: ……. Brother! _(hug each other) _Let's start the show! _(leave)_

IVY: Well done, Nuriko. The deception worked well.

KILIK: Did Namco really say that?

NURIKO: Nope! My phone was off the whole time! I just made it all up!

KILIK & MAXI: Go you!

KILIK: It's a good thing I'm Chinese and not Korean or Japanese.

NIGHTMARE: Give me your souls!!! NOW!!!!

NURIKO: _(glares at him before bringing out her phone and this time really dialing Namco's number)_

NIGHTMARE: _(squeaks and runs off)_

XIANGHUA: Thank you Nuriko! I'm actually the harp! _(dances off)_

KILIK: _(whispers) _I don't wanna be mean to Xianghua but why did you chose her of all people to be the magic harp? The harp's so nice and soft and soothing… Xianghua's just plain noisy!

NURIKO: That's the reason why I chose her. As my sister put it; the Magic harp makes noise, and Xianghua is noisy…

KILIK: ……… Oh good one!

NURIKO: It's great being boss! Ok people we're starting now!

**(Curtains go up)**

NURIKO: Once upon a time, there lived a farmer boy named Jack…

MAXI: Haiiiii ya! _(starts swinging his Nunchaku around) _Oh yeah! _(does his hair)_

NURIKO: …… Who lived with his widowed mother…

IVY: _(comes out in her slutty outfit again and all the guys, Maxi included, stare) _

NURIKO: _(THOUGHTS: Why're they coming out so early????) _And their pet cow…

KILIK & YUNSUNG: _(come out in the cow costume)_

KILIK: Moooooo!!!

NURIKO: Unfortunately, their crops had not been going so well and because there was no food for the cow to eat, the cow stopped giving milk.

IVY: Jack dear… I think it is time we sold our dear old cow off for a bit of money.

MAXI: What? Ok ya I'll do it!

NURIKO: So the young boy took the cow down to town but after a whole day of trying to sell the cow, he gave up for no one even looked at the creature.

MAXI: Well Missy, we just have to face Mother together…

HEIHACHI: Hello there young boy! That's a nice cow there! _(slaps or punches the back of the "cow")_

YUNSUNG: OWWW!!! MOTHER F&$!!!!!!!

AUDIENCE: Oooooooooh!!!!

MAXI: o.O;;;; Would you like to buy it? For 10 gold shillings.

HEIHACHI: How's about instead of the 10 gold, I give you something even better?

MAXI: Really? What could top that?

HEIHACHI: Magic beans!

MAXI: _(starts cracking up for real. Cracks up so much he falls over) _OMG Are you serious?!?!?!?!?! Magic beans?!?!?!?!?! You must think I was born yesterday!!!!

HEIHACHI: But it is true! If you take these beans, you'll be richer than you think… These are worth 100 times… No… A THOUSAND times more gold than measly 10 gold shillings…

MAXI: Really? Alright then, here you go…

HEIHACHI: _(takes "cow" and hands beans over to Maxi)_ Thank you very much! _(leaves)_

NURIKO: …… So, feeling happy that he got rid of the cow, Jack ran home to tell his mother the good news.

MAXI: Mother! Mother! Look what I have!!!

IVY: Oh what is it? _(looks at beans and glares at Maxi, making him gulp for real) _BEANS!?!?!!?! YOU GAVE AWAY OUR COW FOR BEANS?!?!!?!

MAXI: They're not just any beans Mother! They're MAGIC beans!

IVY: Hah! Magic beans???? You're a stupid, stupid boy! _(takes beans from Maxi and throws them out) _Go to bed! You shall have no supper tonight! Of course, thanks to you, we won't have supper forever!

NURIKO: And so sadly, Jack went to bed without supper. Although, in the middle of the night, something stirred outside of the house…

**(Curtains go down for a minute before rising again)**

NURIKO: The next day…

MAXI: OMG MOTHER LOOK!!!!!! AN EMEGENCY!!!!!

IVY: What? What is it?

MAXI: I've run out of hair gel!!!

IVY: ……… _(thumps him on the head)_

MAXI: Ow!!! What was that for????

IVY: _(points to beanstalk which was just a cardboard-made beanstalk painted green)_

MAXI: Oh right… Look at that! _(points to the "beanstalk")_

IVY: Oh my! It is a beanstalk! Whatever shall we do?

MAXI: _(starts climbing it) _Damn this is gonna ruin my hairdo! I mean… Maybe there's something up there Mother! I shall go take a look!

IVY: No dear don't! It's too dangerous!

NURIKO: But Jack did not listen to his mother and kept on climbing until he could not even see the ground anymore. He kept climbing until finally, he reached…

MAXI: Wow!!! A land! And everything is HUGE!!! Oh look! A castle! _(goes into castle) _Wow! Preeeeeeetty…

NIGHTMARE: Fe Fi Fo Fum! Gimme your souls!

NURIKO: Ahem!

NIGHTMARE: I mean… I smell the blood of an Englishman! Be he dead or be he alive I'll slice his bread to make my…bed!

MAXI: Oh good! I ain't no Englishman… I mean…eek! _(hides)_

NURIKO: ………………………………………………. Moron……………. Jack hid in the cupboard for hours, fearing the giant might find him and eat him but as time passed, Jack realized that the giant had no noticed him but just to be on the safe side, he still hid.

NIGHTMARE: _(brings out a bag of large gold coins) _One… Two… Three…

MAXI: _(stares at gold) _Wow with that much money Mother and I will be able to live without working!

NURIKO: So Jack waited until the giant finally fell asleep which wasn't too long and when he made sure that the giant could not wake up, he snuck out…

MAXI: Hehehehehee… _(carries sack and sneaks off) _I'm gonna be rich…

NURIKO: _(THOUGHTS: Wow I didn't expect Maxi to be in character THAT well!) _So Jack managed to sneak out of the castle, climb down the beanstalk and reach home.

IVY: Jack what is that??? Gold??? Oh my goodness!

MAXI: Yes mother! Now we can be rich and not have to lay a finger! _(THOUGHTS: Yeah right! When you go to sleep, I'm sneaking off and keeping all this gold to myself!!! MWAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!)_

IVY: Oh that is wonderful dear! Now come in!

NURIKO: But Jack had already started climbing the beanstalk again…

MAXI: What??? Mother f&$ _(starts climbing again)_

NURIKO: And went back to the giant's castle.

NIGHTMARE: My gold is missing!!! No matter, I still have this with me… _(holds out a rubber duck) _Hehehe squeak my ducky! Squeak!

RUBBER DUCK: _(magically produces a golden egg)_

MAXI: A goose/duck that produces golden eggs? This I gotta have!

NIGHTMARE: Hehehehehehehe ducky… _(falls asleep) _

MAXI: _(sneaks out and steals rubber duck, runs off and climbs down beanstalk) _Mother!!! Mother!!!

IVY: I'm right here…

MAXI: Oh! Uh I knew that! --;;; But anyway look what I got! _(shows her rubber duck)_

IVY: ………… It's… A duck… A rubber duck at that…

MAXI: But look! Squeak my ducky! Squeak!

RUBBER DUCK: _(produces golden egg)_

IVY: Omg! It lays golden eggs! Well done! You should stop now… The giant might be angry with you… Jack???

NURIKO: But alas, Jack decided to climb the beanstalk again.

MAXI: Seriously you gotta stop narrating!

NURIKO: But it's my job! Now climb!

MAXI: It's more work than you think! _(climbs again)_

NIGHTMARE: At least I still have this! Play my harp!

XIANGHUA: Ok! _(plays harp very badly)_

NIGHTMARE: _(being tone deaf, loves it) _

EVERYONE ELSE: _(cringe in disgust… some even faint)_

MAXI: What a horrible tune! But it's very valuable! I should steal it!

NIGHTMARE: _(starts to fall asleep and soon dozes off)_

XIANGHUA: _(stops)_

EVERYONE ELSE: Yes!!!

XIANGHUA????

MAXI: _(sneaks in and steals harp)_

XIANGHUA: Omg help! Help! HELP!!!!

MAXI: Shh!!! _(THOUGHTS: Man and poor Kilik's gotta put up with this loudmouth!)_

XIANGHUA: Oh help me! Help me!

NIGHTMARE: _(wakes up) _Oh no you won't you thief! I will kill you and take your soul!!! MWAHAAHAHA!!! _(runs after Maxi)_

MAXI: Oh crap! _(picks up speed and manages to climb down the beanstalk with Xianghua holding onto his back)_ Mother!!! Mother!!! MOTHER!!! Emergency!!! And it's got nothing to do with my hair!!!

IVY: _(comes running out) _Holy s#&, f&$, son of a b#$&!!!!!! _(brings out axe and starts chopping down beanstalk)_

MAXI: Ahh!!! I'm here too!!!

IVY: Jump down you idiot!

MAXI: _(jumps down and drops Xianghua)_

XIANGHUA: Ow!!! Kilik-chan! Did you see that?!?!!?!?

KILIK: --;;;

MAXI: _(helps Ivy chop down beanstalk)_

NIGHTMARE: No!!!

NURIKO: After an effortless…effort… The beanstalk finally snapped and the giant fell to his doom…

NIGHTMARE: _(dead on the ground)_

NURIKO: With the bag of large gold, the rubber duck that laid golden eggs and the tone-deaf harp, Jack and his mother lived happily ever after. The End.

**(Backstage)**

NURIKO: Woo! Great work you guys! Well done!

KILIK: Rubber duck that lays golden eggs? Isn't it supposed to be a goose?

NURIKO: Ya but I wanted to make it random and also…

HEIHACHI: You have no money to afford the real thing?

NURIKO: No! Sorta… Maybe… Yes. But that's not the point! Where's Maxi?

YUNSUNG: Guys! Maxi left a note!

NOTE: MWAHAHAHAAHA I've taken the rubber duck and the bag of gold! It is mine to keep! MWAHAHAHA!!! You will never find me!

NIGHTMARE: Nooooo!!!! Rubber Ducky!!!!

NURIKO????? Ah well leave him…

XIANGHUA: But aren't you worried?

NURIKO: Nope!

IVY: And why not?

NURIKO: Because the gold is leprechaun gold which will disappear in a few hours and the duck is just… A rubber duck!

**(Meanwhile…)**

MAXI: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You tricked me!!!! Stupid Astaroth!!!!!!!!! Damn youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Once Upon A Time...**

**Disclaimer: Do NOT own Soul Calibur. Nuriko btw is me so I own her!!! **

_**NOTE: Oh btw I don't know the name of the thingy Rapunzel's mother wants to eat so I'll make it up... CABBAGE! .**_

**RAPUNZEL**

**CAST:**

Rapunzel: Seung Mina (Ok so she's not blonde but who cares? It's the long hair that counts...)

Prince: Kilik

Witch: Taki

Father: Heihachi

Mother: Cassandra

Narrator: Yunsung (yes you read it right... It is Yunsung...)

**(Backstage)**

SEUNG MINA: Where's Nuriko? I need to ask her something!

KILIK: No one's seen her today... Where is she?

HEIHACHI: Hm... For some reason I have a feeling _he _has something to do with this... _(points to Yunsung)_

YUNSUNG: What??? Why're you blaming me?!?!?! I didn't do anything!!! I'm innocent!!!

EVERYONE ELSE: ... Freak...

TAKI: I still don't see why I have to be the witch. Do I look like a witch to you?

KILIK: Well...

TAKI: I thought so! I am a ninja! This such thing is a disgrace! I am going to quit!

CASSANDRA: Guys! A note from Nuriko!

NOTE: I'm not feeling well today (some girl issues) and so Yunsung will be in charge and be the narrator... And Taki! If you quit I will... I repeat, WILL call Namco! And if none of you listen to him, you will be doomed!!!

EVERYONE EXCEPT YUNSUNG: HIM?!?!?! IN CHARGE??? What did you do Yunsung?!?!?!

YUNSUNG: No time for explanations! Go on! You're starting! _(smirking)_

**(Curtains go up)**

YUNSUNG: Once upon a time there lived a couple who were expecting a baby soon...

HEIHACHI: Oh I hope the baby will be a healthy child...

CASSANDRA: Dear... I'm hungry...

HEIHACHI: Well what do you want? We got bread, rice... Rice?!?! Um... Corn, biscuits... Anything you want!

CASSANDRA: I want some cabbages...

HEIHACHI: Cabbages? But we don't have any... No one in this village has any, except for the witch next door...

CASSANDRA: I want some cabbages... Or I can't give birth to the baby.

HEIHACHI: Alright alright... Do I have to?

CASSANDRA: _(glares at him) _If you don't, I cannot give birth to the baby!!!

HEIHACHI: Ok! Ok! Geez! _(leaves)_

YUNSUNG: So the husband, deciding that asking the witch was a bad idea, sneaked into her garden and stole a few but as he was about to leave...

TAKI: Stop! How dare you steal from my garden?! You shall be punished!

HEIHACHI: No wait-

YUNSUNG: The man begged and begged for mercy and he...

HEIHACHI: Ahem! That's what I'm supposed to say! Now go away stupid boy! Please don't hurt me! My wife, she's just in labour and is craving for some cabbages...

TAKI: Hm... alright you can take the cabbages but I want something in return.

HEIHACHI: Alright! Anything! Just please don't kill me! I have a child to be a father of...

TAKI: Fine, you're excused. Just don't do it again or it will be the death of you! _(disappears)_

YUNSUNG: So the husband goes back to his wife and tells her what happened. Worried...

CASSANDRA: How could you do something so stupid like that?!?!?!

HEIHACHI???? But you wanted the cabbages!!!

CASSANDRA: Well NOW I want you to dip your head in...

YUNSUNG: Hey! No threatning! But anyway the couple decided to not worry about it and let it go... A few months later, the baby was born but the couple could not celebrate because...

TAKI: _(appears in their room using her smoke thingys, trips) _Oh crap! I mean now! Gimme your baby!

CASSANDRA: Please! Don't take my baby! You said you wanted something from us...

TAKI: ... Duh... Your baby! _(takes the baby doll and disappears)_

YUNSUNG: The witch locked the baby up in a tower and raised her up there and named her Rapunzel. As she grew, her hair grew too and by the time she was 16, her hair was so long and strong that the witch used it as a rope...

SEUNG MINA: What?!?!?! I mean... _(whistles)_

TAKI: Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!

SEUNG MINA: _(drops hair down... some of hair is extra rope but shh!!!) _

TAKI: _(actually climbs it)_

SEUNG MINA: Ow! Ow! Omg!!!

TAKI: Here you go Rapunzel. _(gives her food)_

SEUNG MINA: Thank you... _(THOUGHTS: Um... Is it rice? No wait! It's a pork bun! Oh no... It's a packet of chips!!! Ooooh no... It's... cabbages... Cheapskate...)_

TAKI: Now you stay here and I'll be right back... _(goes down again)_

SEUNG MINA: _(sighs and stares out window and starts singing)_

YUNSUNG: Just then a prince on a horse rides by and hears Rapunzel's... Awful singing...

SEUNG MINA: _(throws her weapon at him)_

KILIK: _(gets off horse that is made out of broom)_ I hear a _(coughs)_ beautiful voice! Where is it coming from? Oh! Up there! _(hides behind cardboard bush when Taki appears)_

TAKI: Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!

SEUNG MINA: ... _(does it again) _

KILIK: Hm... Is that all I have to say? Alright!

YUNSUNG: So the young prince waited for the witch to leave and when she did he decided to try out the chant...

KILIK: Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let hair down your!

EVERYONE: ...

KILIK: I mean Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!

SEUNG MINA: _(drops hair)_

KILIK: _(climbs hair clumsily)_

SEUNG MINA: OMG YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN TAKI!!!! OMG HURRY UP!!!!! I mean... Ow...

**(AUDIENCE)**

TALIM: Aww! Yunsung-kun's a wonderful narrator isn't he?

XIANGHUA: Kuso!!! How come I'm not Rapunzel?!?!?!?! That stupid red head... My Kilik-chan!

MITSURUGI: Geez you two...

NURIKO???? What're you guys doing here?

XIANGHUA: Nuriko?!?!?!?!

MITSURUGI: What're you doing here??? We thought you had some girl tissues or something...

TALIM: It's girl Issues bumbrush!

NURIKO: Eh??? No... I got a letter from Namco saying that all of you were shooting a new fighting scene somewhere in space or something... _(shows them letter)_

MITSURUGI: Hey that writing looks familiar...

TALIM: Omg! It's Yunsung-kun's writing!!!

NURIKO: WHAT?!?!?! That jerk! I'm gona get him!

XIANGHUA: Oh so it's him who did the casts? Phew...

NURIKO: Um no... All the casts are correct...

XIANGHUA: WHAT??!!?!

**(MEANWHILE)**

YUNSUNG: So the prince left, promising to bring her back with him the next time he came again. But to Rapunzel's dismay, when the witch came back...

TAKI: How dare you bring someone up to this castle?!?!?! You know you are forbidden to see anyone!

SEUNG MINA: How did you know?!?!

TAKI: I have my ways...

SEUNG MINA: You mean you have security cameras?!?!?! _(looks around)_

TAKI: No! I am a _(hesitates for a moment) _witch after all! For your trecherous behaviour I have no choice but to do this! _(takes her hair and cuts it off, even her real hair)_

SEUNG MINA: _(Now has a bob-style haircut) _MY HAIR!!!!!!!!! _(really upset) _Oooh someone's gonna pay!!!

YUNSUNG: ... Don't worry stupid! It'll grow back! I mean... The witch took her deep into the forest and left her there to survive on her own. She used the remains of Rapunzel's hair as the rope and waited for the prince to come that night.

KILIK: Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!

YUNSUNG: Unbeknownst to the prince, his beloved Rapunzel was not there anymore...

KILIK: _(climbs "hair") _I guess she's used to my weight... Good... All that working out's paying off...

YUNSUNG: The prince climbed into the room only to find...

KILIK: Rapunzel I am her... OMG YOU'VE BEEN CURSED!!! AND UGLYFIED!!!!

TAKI: Watch it Kilik! _(evil black pissed aura around her)_

KILIK: _(gulps)_

TAKI: I am not Rapunzel! I am the witch! And now I shall curse YOU! Once you step out of this castle, you shall be blinded and can never see for eternity!

KILIK: ... Well... In that case... I'll stay here!

YUNSUNG: Asshole! I mean... So the witch curse him and whilst trying to find his way, he hears a _(coughs again) _familiar and beautiful voice in the woods...

SEUNG MINA: _(throws weapon again)_

KILIK: _(now blindfolded) _That voice! It's my Rapunzel! _(walks into wall)_ Ow! Rapunzel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SEUNG MINA: _(runs over to Kilik) _Oh my beloved! What has happened to you?!?!?!

KILIK: Uh helloooooo! I mean ahem... I've lost my sight...

SEUNG MINA: My dearest! _(pours eyedrops and somehow the "tears" heal his eyes)_

KILIK: I can see again! It's a miracle! _(hugs Seung Mina)_

YUNSUNG: And the two lived happily ever after. The End.

**(Backstage)**

NURIKO, XIANGHUA, TAKI, SEUNG MINA: YUNSUNG!!!!!!!

YUNSUNG: What?!?!? Oh... Uh... _(shrinks compared to the four girls) _Ahahaha... Cya! _(runs off)_

NURIKO, XIANGHUA, TAKI, SEUNG MINA: COME BACK HERE!!!!! _(chases him)_

KILIK: Uh? What's going on?

TALIM: Well Xianghua's mad cuz Yunsung didn't change the Rapunzel cast to her eventhough he knew, Taki's mad cuz he made her so ugly-looking, Seung Mina's mad cuz he promised her that her hair would grow back but we all know it won't and Nuriko... well he basically sabotaged her show...

KILIK, HEIHACHI: Whoa...

TALIM: Yup! Until next time minna-san!


End file.
